Theet, formerly the order of the phoenix, formerly knights of jad's cock, formerly a loose affiliation of internet gangs is a detective agency turned crime syndicate turned moon worshipping death cult from Somalia.
Theet's origins date as far back as the 1960s in Stalingrad, California during the Salem Communism Trials, in which a comedian known as The Zodiac Killer was being hunted by the Illuminati after being branded a communist. This led to the Zodiac Killer being blacklisted from the entertainment industry. The Zodiac Killer became depressed and turned to huffing gasoline. At rock bottom, he found new purpose in a cult known as The Satanik Mosque of Gaytheism and drowned a child named Benjamin Franklin as part of an initiation ritual. This is what communism does to your children. Benjamin Franklin vowed that the Satanik Mosque of Gaytheism and their descendents would be destroyed by the power of a thousand suns.
Return of Ben Edit
As a spooky ghost, Ben became an avid Let's Player so that he could appeal to a generation that does nothing but have sex and shoot heroin until they catch every STD known to man, end their rap careers, and become exiled to their parents basement where they play video games and browse the internet all day. He found that he truly enjoyed the Zelda series, especialy Majora's Mask because it appealed to his spookiness, and wanted to immerse himself in its world. So he deleted his youtube account and possessed a Majora's Mask cartridge.
Jadusable, an icon in American cinema due to his family connections to the Satanik Mosque of Gaytheists and being of half Jewish half Palestenian ancestry, was sent to celebrity rehab for his alcohol dependence. While the cameras weren't being pointed at this iconic writer/director, Jadusable chose to rediscover his childhood with an N64 and Majora's Mask. Things got awkward when the cartridge he stole from wal-mart was the cartridge possessed by Ben Franklin.
Jadusable's Murder and the Rise of Theet Edit
In late 2010, Jadusable was found dead in his mother's basement following his stint in celebrity rehab. The Stalingrad police department official report states that it was death by alcohol poisoning and being a capitalist pig. The internet, however, knew better and offered their detective skills to the family. The investigation had begun.
Many rival detective agencies such as WAAL and UA, outlaw motorcycle clubs such as The Hells Angels and Bikers against Child Abuse, and independent detectives such as bleachfan614 and Mugen Kagemaru. With so many competing for the $5 off any large pizza coupon reward offered by Jadusable's family who clearly gave a shit, things got real and youtube comments and forums related to the investigation became worse than 1990s South Central Los Angeles. Things became less about the investigation, and more about who the top keyboard warrior was. These dark times led to the invention of gangsta rap, which is often credited to platinum selling artist Lil Onion.
Archduke Sepheriam is assassinated. The Great War begins. Edit
Suspicion that the "Link" in We Are All Link was actually in an L for Luna, and that WAAL were double agents working for Ben's moon cult, a few of WAAL's agents went rogue. This led to the assissination of Archduke Sepheriam. Fingers pointed to Canada, and Prime Minister Uratnik. This led to a shitstorm in which both agencies were destroyed while Bleachfan614 sacrificed himself to solve the mystery and The Hells Angels merged with Bikers Against Child Abuse to form ISIS so that they could focus on bigger and better things than the internet, such as destroying The Great Satan.
Lil Onion's Record Label Edit
Lil Onion, being an avid supporter of our troops, chose to create a record label so that the survivors of The Great War could cope with their PTSD. This label was known as Knights of Jad and dominated the West Coat rap scene. Eventually, internal struggles would arise when Lil Onion went on an onion binge and took a massive shit in the recording studio. Everyone left the label, but would eventually everyone formed the gangster witch house group The Order of the Phoenix.
Allegations of piracy Edit
The Order of the Phoenix was found guilty in 1998 of music piracy after they were arrested for stealing a boat full of records off the coast of Somalia. Eye witness Forrest Gump recalls producer Ifrit Jenkens saying "look at me. I am the captain now."
While exiled to the island Elba, the Order took an interest in black metal. Just as the double agents had tried to hijack the investigation, they hijacked the most feared pirate crew of the seven seas and turned them into sp00ky moon worshippers.
Theet antics Edit
There are no antics.
Well, there was that one time with the pizza and the polar bears but other than that there are no antics.
- Ifrit Jenkins
- Lobizon Argento